Issues I work with
Clients come to me for many reasons - these have often been amongst them...
Anxiety and Stress
Anxiety can appear in our lives in many forms. From a generalised sense of dread to specific fears around particular parts of our lives, who we are, the future, or the past. It can be provoked by an overload of stress - at home, at work or elsewhere. My approach is to work with it in three ways. Firstly to help you find ways to deal with the feelings in the moment, techniques that can support you to regain your mental balance when the feelings are intense. Then to work with you to unpack some of the drivers of the feelings within - some of the thoughts, feelings, history or assumptions which might be fuelling your anxiety, and what they might mean. Third, to help you put in place practices and ways of thinking that will help you move out of your anxiety.
Trauma and abuse
Trauma can take many forms. Sometimes it can be rooted in our upbringing - things that were done to us or that we were witness to. It may have been one incident, or it may have been ongoing. Sometimes a traumatic event, or string of them, can derail us later in life. The effects can be devastating - and deceptive. They can affect how we build relationships (or don't), how we navigate trust, how 'difficult' emotions like anger or shame are expressed, to whom and how. Trauma can leave us with so much that we wanted to say, or do, but just couldn't as it was happening to us - our circumstances may have made it impossible to avoid events or to respond as we might have wanted at the time. However it got started (and it may have been a number of things) it might have left you carrying feelings that you can't find a place for; confusing or frightening feelings that can burst out and wreck relationships, self-esteem and belief and undermine you. We'll gradually, carefully work through them, at a pace that feels manageable for you, to help you move to a place of greater peace.
Low self worth
We can become powerfully affected by the way we have been treated in life - by our parents, families, partners, colleagues, peers, even by wider society itself. Or it can be the consequence of events, and what we tell ourselves about those events and our part in them. The effects of these factors may not always be immediately obvious, but they can mount up, eating into us. Sometimes, all this can go back years, creating ways of thinking about ourselves that have become habitual. Moving past them can mean making these patterns visible, questioning them, letting them go. Or realising that the feelings we have about ourselves aren't the result of something intrinsic within us, they were stimulated in us by others, or shaped by particular ways of seeing events. We all have a huge worth as human beings - if yours seems to have gone missing, we can work together to rediscover it and support it.
Questions of identity - including sexual and gender identity
Who actually am I? It's a deceptively complex question that many of us ask at various points in our lives. What do I want and need to be happy? How can I get in touch with the parts of me that are going to help guide me towards a meaningful future? Sometimes it can feel that we've lost touch with our true selves, in the lives, work, relationships we have built. If this feels true for you, we can work towards peeling back the layers to help you re-find your sense of direction based on a you that you recognise and like.
Questions of identity can also focus on your sexuality or gender identity too. If that's you, if you are confused, ashamed, or scared about what's going on for you, you'll find in me an experienced and thoughtful person with personal experience, who will will work affirmatively with you to find the right way forward for you. No pathologisation, no expectations, no preconditions, no value judgements.